Why New Dads Need Mental Health Support Too
We tell new moms to ask for help. We do not tell new dads the same thing. That needs to change.
When my son was born, people checked in on my wife constantly. Doctors, friends, family, other new moms in online groups. Everyone was watching her for signs of postpartum depression.
Nobody watched me.
I was not at risk, or so the implicit story went. I did not give birth. I was not hormonal. I was the support person.
This framing is wrong and it harms men.
The numbers
About ten percent of new fathers experience postpartum depression. The real number is likely higher, because men are less likely to report it or seek help.
New fathers also experience hormonal changes during the perinatal period. Testosterone drops, cortisol rises, and the neural pathways involved in bonding and caregiving activate.
None of this is talked about.
Why men do not ask for help
Men are socialized to be strong, to hold it together, to not need things. Seeking mental health support is seen as weak, especially in the context of something as normal as becoming a parent.
The shame is real. And it prevents men from getting help until things are really bad.
The cost of silence
Untreated paternal postpartum depression affects families. It is associated with decreased relationship satisfaction, increased risk of child behavioral problems, and in some cases, family violence.
Men who are struggling also struggle to be present for their partners. The partner who is drowning cannot effectively support the other person drowning.
What needs to change
We need to screen fathers for postpartum mental health. We need to talk about paternal PPD as a legitimate condition. We need to make help-seeking normal for new fathers.
Employers need to offer paternity leave and actually encourage men to take it.
Online communities need to be more explicitly inclusive of fathers.
If you are a new dad who is struggling
This is not weakness. This is a real thing that affects real men. You deserve support.
Talk to your doctor. Text a friend. Reach out to a new dad group. Call a mental health professional.
You do not have to white-knuckle your way through this.
Cradld is here for dads too.
Content Team
The Cradld Journal
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